Sunday, June 17, 2007 ♡~
haiz...everytime, at least once a mth, i will blog abt moi family...write abt unfairness, how miserable and etc.guess my family nt sianz abt dem, i oso very sianz liao...sianz as in experiencing it, reacting to it, tellin it to moi close frenz, writin abt it and etc.likewise, de poor listeners and de poor readers will be like, " What! Nt AGAIN!!!"i realli dun understand why my family juz cant live in peace.I haf been tryin hard... TRYIN REALLY HARD LIAO!!!but realli no one knows or cares...realli most of de times im trouble by my family problems...i tot dat by sayin out to let dem understand, everything will change for the best.but nth really gt better, but it always turn out very bad!!!dat is one of de reasons why i dun wanna tok things out wif bennett and the rest.im so afraid that nw thing is aint good liao, but i dun wan it gt any worst!!!frm gd frenz to nw juz fyp team mates which r aint in gd terms.i dun wan to make it worst by changin it to enemies or wadeva worst.so i would rather leave it de way it is for nw.my dad WILL NV UNDERSTAND MI, nor anyone else.he is so FUCKIN EGOISTIC!!HE IS THE ONLY ONE SACRIFICING for the family, the other aint.HE ONLY RECOGNISE and APPRECIATE what he does, but nt others.HE ASSUMES that he is the only one wif all the worries and stress and not others.(had an arguement wif him juz nw, he compared his stress and worries he experiencing to mine! he said his were much more heavy than mine. BUT DOES HE KNOWS MY STRESS AND WORRIES? part of moi stress and worries is given by him!!!)HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!
everyone else is wrong.
i cant say anything at all...
i cant point out his mistakes, i cant do anything!
coz HE IS THE FATHER!!! he is RIGHT, he can do anything.
Everybody muz listen to him.HE HAS THE BLOODY RIGHT TO INSULT PLE, REPRIMAND OTHERS AND PUTTIN FALSE ACCUSATIONS ON OTHERS???BUT HONESTLY, who he thinks he is? THE EMPEROR?!?Everyone else shud take de blame for him?!?TRUTHFULLY, how much does he noes abt me?HE GOT TO NOE dat im studyin in RP when I WAS IN FREAKIN YR 2!!!OMG!!!dun u think it is freakin li pu?!?I JUZ SO HATE MYSELF!!!HATE MY COMPLICATED FAMILY BACKGROUND!
HATE DE WAY N ENVIRONMENT I WAS BROUGHT UP!!!I JUZ HATE EVERYTHING!!!NONE of my frenz noe wad went thru and how i go thru dem.nobody will noe how i felt and im goin thru.coz dey arent me...dey nv experience these b4...i noe, some ple who readin thru these may think, "there she go again, makin herself so pityful and etc." or maybe oso de "wadeva lor" kind of attitude. but i heck care too... coz u will nv noe until u go thru dem.if my parents had divorced earlier, everything maybe much peaceful.for reaching 19 yrs, i been hearing dem sayin dat they wan to file a divorce, but up till nw still nt done.i really wish dey would haf done it.I am be evil, but things realli will be better.coz my parents arent for each other.and i cant bear de mess they created!sometimes, separation can be of a better choice!I DUN WANNA GO BACK TO DAT OLD MI!!!but i haf to return back to dat self reluctantly.COZ only by return to my dat self, i can hide frm everything.i dun haf to face dem.although, i noe i will do alot of stuff dat i will regret, but at least i can run away frm everything...as long as i dun haf to face dem, I WILLING TO DO ANYTHING!!!YA!!! ANGIE IS ALWAY DE SAY SAY TYPE NIA, SHE WONT DO IT DE!!!WRONG!!!dis time im determine...i gonna be very stubborn!!!coz if nt i will suffer frm it and may die frm it too...so frm today onwards, juz let mi rot and die kkz!!!LIFE is a MISERY and TORMENT for mi!!!wish to end it soon~NO ONE will ever understand de kind of pain and torment im goin thru...
NO ONE WILL~
JUZ MI AND MYSELF!!!
Labels: family
Royal Writes の
5:46 PM
