Monday, April 06, 2009 ♡~
Ex Kingfisher is finally over.
but im still very uptight with everything.
everyday been a usual routine for me, life is getting so boring.
but luckily, my bangkok trip is coming soon.
19 Mar 09 - 22 Mar 09.
time to destress and unwind.
retail therapy!!!
been very very down. temper had turned real bad.
but i aint gonna complain much.
even blogging it out, it wont make me feel better, it wont possibly make any impact.
so what for!
thanks to those who have been asking me what happen.
i hasnt said the full story of it to anyone yet.
but to honest, u wont understand it. it's no point.
i really dislike ple's unhelpful reaction, it actually pisses me off.
and at the end of the day, aft saying it again, im annoyed again.
so dun ask me anything ok. i will say if i wanna say.
i juz wan to be left alone.
been out alone very often recently.
i like the feel when the wind caresses my face.
the moon and stars shinely bright upon me.
for a moment, i felt that this world is beautiful and God is awesome.
But when i back to that place, i feel that this world is so unfair, ugliness of mankind reflected clearly.
God is unjust. why do i have to go thru these over and over again?
was asked by mum, aint im afraid of the situation in BKK?
Answered firmly, "NO".
if im destined to die, i can just die anytime now.
being knocked down while crossing the road.
falling down the stairs.
it is not the death that is scarily. it is about living in this scarily world.
being died, we are free from everything in this world, lost conscious to this world.
but living, we need all the courage to go thru all the obstacles and crisis.
and for me, my ratio of gd times vs bad times = 1:20
we gt to face all the nonsense and struggle to settle them, to continue to struggle for our survival.
it is just like now, im drowning in the water.
water covered 2/3 of my face and im struggling to float.
but yet, i know i will die eventually.
so why continue to struggle? just let me continue drowning to death.
it is better than being rescue and fallen into coma and having to go thru all the pains and yet you have to face death again.
Royal Writes の
10:20 AM
Tuesday, March 03, 2009 ♡~
今天是大舅的出殡。
大家的心情都变的非常低落喔。
还记得去年十一月二十一日，大家都参加大堂哥的喜酒。
大家都聚在一起嘻嘻哈哈的吃饭。都好开心喔。
但那天也是我们大家亲戚最后拍的全家福。
谁知道短短一个月后，大舅就入院了。
好不容易从加护病房转到普通病房，还以为病情好转了。
谁知道不到一个礼拜，他就走了。
上个星期，我还和老妈子加上三姨一起前去 SGH 探望大舅。
他的样子变得好憔悴。从老妈口中听到大舅去世的事还很不敢相信。
没人会想到是这么快。
这几天，看那些大人为了一些事情吵，觉得好悲哀喔。
但也能看出大家都是关心大舅的丧事。
为了能让他走得更好。
今天当乐队奏起，哀嚎哭啼声也响起。
原本以为我不会哭，因为没和大舅走的很近。
是到近几年才知道老妈还有一个大哥。
但是因为七老姨和大姨哭得好惨，我也因此被影响了。
白发送黑发人，让人感慨万千。
最后的一程，心情低落和不舍也把泪给崔出来。
到了火化场要焚化大舅的棺木时，我们哭得好凄惨。
尤其是二姨，她是跳着哭地。让人更想哭。
小小的外甥也抱住二表哥哭。画面如此的感叹万分。
回到大舅家，大家一起吃饭。
阿公和我们一起坐，我才发觉今天是和阿公第一次同桌吃。
看着大家一起和睦坐下来吃，大概是大舅最希望的吧。
但这一次也教会我要好好珍惜所有的一切。
好好对待家人，让自己以后没有遗憾。
所以我答应了七老姨，在四月底，等我从泰国回来，我会炖鸡汤到她家给她喝。
大舅，一路好走。
惋惜万分。
Royal Writes の
10:00 PM
Thursday, February 12, 2009 ♡~
im totally drained out and still draining.
Mon's MC din energised me nor helped me at all.
Work keeps piling up and many of which are urgent.
Thinking back, I have been working continuously with no leave since Nov 08.
But to be precise shud count from sept. coz the leave i took in oct was like for my mum's op and I gt no rest either.
Haiz...
desperate for a long vacation.
and im planning to apply for the part-time degree for july's intake @ UNISIM.
so tired - physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally...
been OT-ing to ard 7pm - 8pm, wonder when can i take my time-off.
every week, non-stop.
dreadful work r killing my health.
wonder how alive can i continue.
Aft Mar, i den can official take leave.
sianz lah...
dis wkend, no rest either.
Sat, VDay, still nid to go back for work.
super no life.
and bimbotic candy yeo kip telling me, dunno how many ple asking her out on Vday and she dunno who shud she go wif.
kick her ass lah!!
every nite reach home, hear her grumble abt wanting my laptop for her studies and no one is like goin to afford her education lah.
on another hand, im like squeezing cashless to save up for my trip (if any) and oso for uni's education which my parents r nt going to pay a single cents.
so nw wad, kill me and get the insurance money kkz.
freak!!! im nw super tense up @ work and wif my family.
screw up life.
Royal Writes の
2:41 PM
Wednesday, February 04, 2009 ♡~
Royal Writes の
10:51 PM
WARNING!!!
Bloody Hell!!! think my blog is ur new ad board ah!!!
NO adverts on my tagboard!!!
You WANT TO TAG ADs?
ASK ME Permission!!! OR PAY ME for AD RIGHTS!!!
STUPID IDIOTS!!! NO TOUCH MY TAGBOARD unless U R MY FREN!!!
Royal Writes の
10:34 PM
Monday, February 02, 2009 ♡~
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
By Joseph Addison (1672-1719)
Royal Writes の
9:53 AM
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 ♡~
i've always envy the happy families on the street.
seeing quarrelsome siblings, just reminds me of my relationship with my sis.
looking back at my family just makes me poignant.
all the obnoxious past, all the excruciating scars, everything that made me flutter and weep, recurred back, unforgetable.
everything remains vivid and distinct, no matters how i want to scrap away in my memory, i just cant.
Royal Writes の
11:29 PM
Friday, January 23, 2009 ♡~
Nice song from Boys Over Flowers OST
Lucky - Ashily
Lucky (by Ashily)
When I am exausted, Lucky in my life
You come to me as if in a dream
When I sadly fall asleep, Lucky in my dream
You warmly hold me tight
I always smile like this
Even though the world is difficult
I will never show my tears
Even if you do dont know my feelings
Even if it is from far away, I am grateful
That I can cherish your smile
When I want to cry, Lucky in my love
You look so cool in my imagination
When I feel depressed, Lucky in my world
You always hold me tight, as if in a dream
I always smile like this
Even though the world is difficult
I will never show my tears
Even if you do dont know my feelings
Even if it is from far away, I am grateful
That I can cherish your smile
Royal Writes の
12:21 AM
